Day 6: Too Soon

Polenta Nachos

Welcome to day 6.  Do you know what you should not do on day 6?  You should not be so proud of your self for sticking so well to your diet that you go and try something other than your fat pants on.  Doing this is an incredibly bad idea because you will now feel twice as fat as you did when you started.  Boo.  And then I scrolled through some old pictures then had been posted on face book.  I'm not sure if it is inspiring or depressing that I saw a bunch of pictures from when I had lost a bunch of weight.  They made me want to kick myself in the a$$ for letting it come back, but it was nice to see what I had accomplished before and can accomplish again.  I wish that I could accomplish it all in one month before the girls' weekend!!!

I am still proud of myself for sticking to it for 5-1/3 days so far because I am not anywhere near wanting to give up or stop.  So yea.  The other cool thing is that I have found a way to come up with some filling, NOT disgusting meals.  I wasn't sure what to do last night when I got home.  I had saved points for a slice, but I got home late, so I fended for myself.  I had a tube of polenta, so I sliced it up, realized that I had enough points for the whole non-fat thing, and fried it up (in Pam).  Then I started thinking it might taste good with my guac...BUT I didn't want to kill the no fat thing, so I made my guac without the avocado (aka - I made salsa).  Cilantro, plum tomato, scallions, some lime, salt and voila.  It was actually delicious!  I'm not a cooking blog, so I will leave that up to the pros normally.  But this time I had to share.

I'll try to come up with some more interesting things to say in the next few days, but this has turned into a little bit of my own motivation - if I put it out there, it is public.  And people will be waiting to see if I succeed or not.  Of course it isn't like I've actually jumped the shark and advertised that I'm posting.  These are silent posts for now.  For me and anyone who happens to accidentally fall upon it through Google.

Day 3, YEA! I Found my Old Bin of Fat(ter) Pants!

Me again.  Woah, 3 posts in 3 days!  It is still morning, so one would think I couldn't have much to say yet, but those are the ones who don't know me.  I alwwwwwaaaaaaaayyyyyssss have something to say.

Last night, as I was starving on the way home and planning to serve my beloved family the yummy lasagna leftovers, I was trying to think of what the heck I was going to eat.  I had a lot of points leftover and could very well have had a smart sized slice of my lasagna.  But portion size has always been part of my dilemma.  If I start, I will not stop, and smart sized would turn into super sized and that would be bad.  I would rather have a LOT of something that is less appealing than a little of something that I can't get enough of.  So, I thought back to the resource that I had used a few years ago to drop a bunch of weight.  Hungry Girl.  I am not (yet) paid to endorse anything, so this is from my heart.  I love that website.  They are the ones that introduced me to Shirataki noodles, Laughing Cow (light) cheese, and turnip fries.  Now, you might not be jumping up and down looking at that list, but let me tell you, it is great.

Shirataki noodles have very little taste on their own, but once you combine them with a couple of ingredients, they take on that flavor and are quite filling.  And get this - don't quote me, but a whole bag of them equate to like 1 Weight Watcher point.  When you throw them in a pot with a couple of wedges of Laughing Cow light cheese and a package of Smart Strips steak style strips (or chicken style), you have a creamy steak and noodle dinner that fills a large plate, looks and tastes like meat and pasta but is really a pile of veggies with some cheese.  6 points.  And you stay full for > 30 minutes!!  So that was my dinner last night.  Oh, and did I mention that it takes <10 minutes to make?  Yeah.  Quick, easy, tasty, 6 points.  Win.

I don't know if I got hungry later or if I just wanted to munch, but since I had only used 12 points between breakfast, lunch and dinner, I had an apple with 3 TBS of peanut butter.  The peanut butter was a costly 8 points, but I had it to use and did.  And you know what?  When I woke up this morning I was not starving. 

So, day 3 started out good.  Even better was that I ventured into the room full of bins.  The bins of "every size and shape I have been in the last 10 years."  And I found the bin I was looking for.  The clothes that I wore before launching a successful WW diet campaign a few years ago.  Not only does this mean that my wardrobe has expanded a little and that I can put my credit card away.  But it means that I didn't get any bigger than I was THAT time.  Small victories.  I hope to be tucking everything back into that bin in a month, but for now it made me happy.

Talk to you soon, but for today, I am hopeful again...not very funny at all (sorry), but hopeful.

Day 2, I'm Friggin' Starving

Hi - It's me again with a two day in a row post extravaganza.  Today is the second day of my diet and cramp combo.  Above you will see the colorful yet ridiculously tasteless meal that filled me up (ish) 4-1/2 hours ago.  Based on my diligently increased intake of water, I probably peed this out 3 hours ago.  I am friggin' starving now.  Tea has not staved it off.  Water has not stopped it.  But alas, I have been super hard on myself today, and have only consumed 6 Weight Watcher's points.  That leaves me...with a lot that can still be used today.  If I told you how many points I might as well take a picture of the scale while I'm standing on it.  You would know too much.  And we all know that after 2 days, I am nowhere near willing to step on a scale. I will visit the scale when I can wear my old fat pants and they start feeling loose.  Talk to me in two months.  So, if you say that, then I am 1/30 of the way there - to being willing to weigh myself - not to my goal you silly people.  That takes about 4 months (from experience). 

I know that I could jumpstart the whole thing if I was willing to walk a bit or go to the basement and jump on the treadmill.  Or basically do anything to rip myself away from Candy Crush or playing the Wii with my boys in the evening.  But I'm not that kind of girl.  I was that kind of girl a long time ago when I went to the work gym every day at 5:30am.  I hit milestones there - was able to jog for 2 miles for the first time in my life (well I did it once).  I pressed the ENTIRE stack of weights on the leg press (I swear it was 400lbs - no joke).  I was so proud of myself!  And then came a day when everyone started telling me how much of their BMI they had lost.  There were some huge percentages!  And these were from my healthy friends.  So I had them retest my BMI.  -1%.  I burst into tears and never went to the gym again.  Well, I might have gone a couple more times until I messed up my knee playing volleyball.  When I was in PT for that knee, I was building up to 80 pounds on the leg press.  That was it.  I was done.

So, I'll leave you for now.  Because I have to pee for the 407th time today.  And then I will serve my lovely family the awwwwwesome leftover lasagna that I made Saturday.  While I silently resent them.

Top of the Roller Coaster Again

Once again my girl Jules from A Little Bite of Life (and high school) has kindly let me know that time was ticking and I was not posting.  She is blog perfection and the slayer of the very mean Wall Street Journal anti blogger lady.  I find it difficult to fight Jules' reminders.  I really enjoy writing and feel great after putting together a good (in my opinion) post.  So, without further delay, I will now embark upon my next topic.  One that is so common that I don't know there is much more to be said.

Dieting.  You can call it a lifestyle change or some other bullshit like that, but the reality for me is that I am dieting.  When you realize that your old storage bin of fat pants are really your not fat enough pants, it is time.  When you start going to pharmacy clinics instead of your own doctor because they won't weigh you, it is time. When your supersized batch of guacamole that you brought to the Cinco de Mayo party became a serving for one, it is because you make fan-friggin-tastic guac and don't want to share...and it is time.

It started today.  And do you like to know what else started today?  Cramps.  Those of you who are naturally skinny probably don't realize what a bad combo this is.  Because my formula is at risk.  I am like Einstein when it comes to this formula...

(Ibuprofen x 4) + (Wine x 2) = What cramps?

Not to be confused with (Ibuprofen x 4) + (Wine x 6) = Hey babeeeee, do you mind that I bought 5 pairs of shoes yesterday?  You're so hot.  Kids?  I don't know where they are, do you?  Wait whose kids? I think we should zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Anyway, I bet just a few of you out there know EXACTLY why my formula is at risk.  1 measly little cup of white wine = SIX weight watchers points!!!  It is diet highway robbery.  A cup of Grapes costs 0 points, so how can wine be 6?  IT IS IN THE FRUIT AND VEGETABLE GROUP!!!

So, today I munched a lot of lettuce, had about 8 or 9 oz of some lean protein, and squeezed a lime and called it dressing.  And I enjoyed 1 cup of medicinal wine with Advil sprinkles for dessert.  There were a couple of times during the day when I felt full, but now is not one of them.  As I write I have reverted back to my childhood habit of chewing on my cheek to give my mouth something to do and maybe get another bite of protein.  I am craving chocolate and am trying to figure out how I am going to make it to bed without going downstairs to attack the Cinco de Mayo leftovers.

As I climb down from the kids' bunk bed after reading them to sleep, I am reminded that this is not the first time my fat ass will have to turn sideways to exit or that my knee will snap, crackle, pop on the way down the ladder.  Maybe that memory will be enough to get me through tomorrow.  That or the gargantuan pants I will climb into.

In the meantime, I post a challenge to Ms. Jules of recipe creating fame...create a 10 point dinner that leaves me full for > 1/2 hour.  Or a 3 point dessert that silences the screaming carbohydrate voices.