Today I told my 9 yo that he needed to clean Hoppy's "habitat" (aka large Walmart storage bin with holes carved in the lid). Hoppy's home smelled like he had let some seafood go bad. Actually, that is EXACTLY what Hoppy did. Apparently he was not a fan of brine shrimp or dried meal worms. I had avoided buying the live crickets because I am no murderer, but Hoppy appeared to be losing more weight than I was on weight watchers. So I broke down and got the crickets...which my Husband informed me you also have to feed. Is there no end to this madness? Now I have to feed the dinner?
Anyway, the 9 yo was cleaning the indoor swamp and I said I would hang with the Hopster. When we picked him up we realized there were probably not many crickets left. He must binge eat at night when no one is watching, but who doesn't. It just made me like him more. Hoppy was plump. So yea! We saved him (well, saved him from his natural habitat through a non-violent toadnapping.)
Hoppy stood in my hand not moving for a while and then I put him down on my chest and laid back so he could hop around a little ( while maintaining my oh so maternal contact with him). Well, I clearly did a nice job comforting him because he felt comfortable enough to let it go...and go...and go...and go... Like a good mommy would do, I let Hoppy continue to pee on me, thinking at times that he had sprung an actual leak and that all his body fluids were draining. And when he was done, I gave him back to the 9 year old and went up to take a shower, resembling someone who had lost a water balloon fight.
So let this be a lesson to all you mothers of toadnappers out there. Get puppy pads. And never pick up your toad when he looks big enough to have eaten your house cat. That is all the wisdom I will impart on you today. Tomorrow I will teach you about buying a fish tank and 5 fish to alleviate your 6 yo's jealousy over your 9yo's toad. Good mommy. Pat pat pat.
