My Grandmother (Mimi) died before I had my children. She was always a very nice woman. Kind to the core. Subserviant to my Grandfather. A better wife than he deserved and a good mother to my Mom. She was quiet and did not often speak her mind. Clearly I did not think that we had that much in common. I loved her very much, don't get me wrong. But I always felt like I had more in common with my Grandfather.
My Grandfather (Poppop) was kind of an a-hole. He worked for Kodak when I knew him, but before that, he was a semi-pro baseball player and a basketball referee. He lived the life of the normal male of that era. He drank too much, he didn't have a heck of a lot of respect for women. He was not a good Father to my Mom. And yet, I had a bond with him that I didn't have with any other grandparent. He took me to the driving range where I would goof around and accidentally smack the ball into the wood divider and laugh. He would yell for me to take it seriously. He would take me bowling and then yell at me to take that seriously too. So shock, I became fairly hostile at an early age when I was not good at something. This competetiveness has continued in my life to this day. My Poppop died when I was in college. When they told me that it was only a matter of time I told them that I just wanted him to be at my wedding (which would have required him to live another 15 or so years). But nonetheless, he died that night. I have thought about him so many times over the years. Each time I play golf in a scramble. Years ago when I had a meeting at PGA headquarters in Florida. When I was in the clubhouse mingling with the players at the Colonial. When I MET Tom Watson. He would have reveled in knowing these things. He would have loved my Husband. My Mother always told me how much he had wanted a boy, yet he ended up with her (an only child) and me (an only child). I imagine how excited he would have been about my 2 boys.
I don't think my Mom ever understood why I felt so close to him and not her Mom. She told me about the times that Mimi used to turn cartwheels in the yard. I simply never knew that woman. I knew the one who worried and asked how high when my Grandfather told her to jump.
Yesterday my Mom asked me to look through some old jewelry of her Mother's that she found. It was all costume jewelry and if I didn't want it, she was just going to throw it out. I didn't expect much. I LOVED it. It was sparkly like everything in my jewelry collection. I took three necklaces, a bracelet and a pair of earrings and left a few other pieces. At that point, my son came in and snagged the rest. I'm not sure why, but he was walking around wearing every single piece he collected. I couldn't imagine why my Mother would even THINK of throwing these treasures in the garbage! At the VERY least they would have brought some money at her Church's Holiday sale. But the thing is my Mom doesn't wear a lot of jewelry. And she doesn't get excited about things that sparkle. That gene skipped a generation, and I SURE got that from my Mimi. And then I thought back. My Mom hates shopping, but my Grandmother and I loved it. She used to take me shopping downtown. We would make a day of it. Take the bus into the city, go to all of the beautiful department stores and then have a great meal at the lunch counter. I would always have a BLT or egg and olive sandwich. I still make those egg & olive sandwiches. Those are fantastic memories, and I got them from her. Turns out, I had a lot more in common with her than I ever knew.
I wish she was here to meet my boys, take a trip to the mall, and buy some sparkly things to make us happy. I am reminded again how thankful I am for my family and friends and the interactions with each that make us the people we are.
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