God has a sense of humor. It might not match your sense of humor at the moment, but it's there. Over the years I have learned not to say anything out loud that I do not want to see immediately reversed. For instance, I realized that I should never say my Mom or Dad were doing well because if I did, one of them would be admitted to the hospital within 24 hours. This also manifests itself with my children. I have stopped responding to people asking how they are because by the time I got back to my desk from the cafeteria, there would be a message from the school or daycare telling me to pick one of them up. If I somehow make the mistake of saying they are well and catch myself, I will search out the closest wood surface to knock on. I'm pretty sure it is this sense of irony and humor that was in play as I celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary.
To preface this, I had had exactly 1 other vacation alone with my Husband in about 8 years. So when my old boss and his wife (saints) offered to watch our kids at our house, we jumped at the chance. I'm a big fan of planning events, so I got to work planning my butt off. I found THE perfect place - Mohonk Mountain House. It was like a castle on a lake. With a highly rated spa for me and a lot of outdoor adventure for my Husband. Gourmet dinners in the main ballroom, scenic views, balconies with rocking chairs and wood burning fireplaces in the room. That place was built for romance! We would spend 4 days there and then we would celebrate our actual anniversary in NYC at the famed Waldorf Astoria with a dinner at a Greek Taverna to commemorate our honeymoon. Perfect. I set out to buy new dresses for every night's dinner. They were all dressier than they needed to be, but that is part of what makes me me.
I couldn't stop talking about the trip to anyone who would listen. Anyone, including my gynecologist. As luck would have it, he had actually been to Mohonk, so I sat there in a paper gown showing him pictures of my planned dinner dresses on my cell phone. It's always good to engage in casual conversation before someone sticks their hand in a rubber glove that is about to go...well, you know where.
The day before we left was full of packing and anticipation and my 4 year old's birthday and my period. My friggin' period, that's what I said. Just a little damper on the plans there, but that's okay, there were tons of other adventures awaiting us there. Such as...the coldest May week in history which was accompanied by fog and rain! Joy! To be quite honest, the weather had very little impact on me personally. I had booked myself so many spa appointments that it pretty much doubled the cost of the stay. But the hubby had planned on mountain biking, rock climbing and hiking. Oh my. All of these events were cancelled due to inclement weather. But you know what? It was a great time anyway.
What was not great was the final joke. We had one final lunch in the great room at Mohonk and then made our way to NY. It was on the way that I started feeling "not right". By the time we checked in to the Waldorf, I knew I would be ending the night with my head in the toilet. But until then, I was going to celebrate. So I put on the 2nd most expensive dress I had ever owned and we walked to the loudest Greek restaurant I had ever heard. I ordered the fried Feta appetizer and the grilled octopus dinner. As the stomach cramps grew stronger and higher in my stomach, we changed the order to go. Back at the hotel we exchanged gifts and I retired to the bedroom while my Husband ate alone and then fell asleep on the love seat with only the pillows for blankets. I, on the other hand, had every cover in the house on me, the bedroom heat on full blast, and I still shook so hard that my teeth chattered. Eventually I gave up and just slept on the marble bathroom floor.
The next day we went home when I could stand basically vertical again. That night was one of the most expensive epic fails in my history. But you know what was fan-friggin-tastic about it? First and foremost that it hadn't happened 10 years earlier. Second, that after 10 years, my Husband was still watching out for me and taking care of me. And third, that our babysitters sent me to bed when I got home and continued to take care of my family. It sure wasn't what I expected, but there was a whole lot of anniversary love! And I can laugh about it now. Sort of.
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