My 4 year old is a pretty smart kid, but he still has some language challenges. For example, our trip was to "Firginia" and he would ask everytime we walked a block from the hotel if we were still in Firginia. And, my favorite of all his terms, the Star Whores. My husband finally couldn't take it anymore one day and kept trying to get him to correct it..."Star WARS...its Star WARS...can you say WARS? Not Whores, WARS!" To his dismay, I was in the same room saying "I do NOT know what Daddy is talking about baby, YOU are right, it's Star Whores!" Then the 4 year old and I danced around the room for 20 minutes singing Star Whores while he yelled Wars in the background. Mommy 1, Daddy 0. Well, yesterday, the 4 year old explained to me that for his special day hanging out with Mom, he would like to make doo-doo. Yeah, that will be a great fun day while you're brother and dad are at the baseball game. We'll make doo doo?? Then he explained, you know, where you eat the food with the forks and you put it in the bowl? Ohhhhhhh, FONDUE!! Fondue has been a family New Year's Eve tradition for about 4 years now - ever since my Husband realized that we had never used the fondue pot wedding gift that I was adamant we register for. In the last couple of years, the kids have really begun to love the best dinner of the year.
So for his fun day with Mom, he wanted to go get the ingredients for fondue. I tried talking him into something a little more fun - like "do you want to go visit a camp that your brother is going to and that you could go to for a week?" "Ummm, no. Let's go get ingredients for doodoo. I want doodoo for lunch and dinner." So off we went to the grocery store. Unlike the Star Whores that I encourage, I did not want him running around telling people he ate doo doo for dinner. So I did coach him and it is now known as Fun-due with an occassional extra doo at the end.
Since his brother was not there, that meant there was room for him and him alone in the grocery cart with the car in front. You know that grocery cart moms! Its the one that weighs 50 pounds more, has wheels that occassionally work and that you sometimes have to actually lean your full body weight on in order to get it rolling around a corner. And when you do get it rolling around the corner, you will run it into the shelf and find it nearly impossible to remove from the shelf without physically lifting the cart away from the side. He sat in the car for all 5 minutes before jumping out. When he is on foot, my grocery cart fills up with random items when I am not looking. It is sometimes a fun surprise to see what I am buying when I am at the checkout. So, while it was not optimal, I was not completely opposed to his climbing atop the car and riding the rest of the trip there. Besides, it gave him a better view of his friends, the lobsters. I parked him there while I got the salmon and shrimp for our fundoodoo. Its like the fish tanks at Wal-Mart. The kids stare at the pretty fish while I stand there feeling bad for them and their miserable short lives. I feel worst for the Beta fish in their 1/2 inch of water, and of course the lobsters that are about to be someone's dinner. So now that you can see I'm a creature lover, let me tell you about all the creatures that we eat at a fondue! Christy @ Insanity is not an Option, this is time for you to turn the channel.
I know, the carnage sounds so wrong. But when my husband started the tradition it was much worse. He bought pork, 3 cuts of beef, shrimp, chicken and salmon. That's a lot of dead things. He handmade about 6 different dipping sauces. And that was just the main course. He also made the cheese course and the chocolate course. Last night the cheese part of the fondue did not meet with the approval of either child and I think that is a good thing because I am not convinced that we managed to get it hot enough to "boil off" the alcohol. It had 1/2 of a bottle of pinot grigio in it along with some Kirschwasser and it is the BEST fondue dip we have ever had! The 2nd course consisted of 1 steak, 1 chicken breast, 1 pound of shrimp and 2 salmon filets. But I saved a chicken - we used vegetable broth to cook it in. I ended up boiling the leftover meat and fish in the broth for a fast leftover meal and we finished dinner off with some delicious fruit smothered in healthy milk chocolate and heavy cream. I drank the remaining bottle of pinot grigio during dinner and fell quickly into a snoring food coma on the couch while my husband cleaned the explosion that was my kitchen and the kids watched a Jimmy Neutron movie where aliens threatened to eat the town children's parents. Those aliens should have come to my house last night. I would have made a great meal for a hungry alien and probably could have been boiled for a week's worth of leftovers.
BEST. DOODOO. EVER.
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